Relationships are not about how much love you have in the beginning but how much love you build till the end.
Relationships are one of the most meaningful parts of our lives and that too romantic relationships held even more special space. Having a perfect relationship is one of the crucial life goals for many of us. Why it’s hard to build a healthy relationship and even harder maintaining it?
One of the main problem is we idealise relationships, especially when it comes to romantic relationships. We see it as some lofty cure for all of life’s problems. Our movies and our stories and our history all celebrate it as life’s ultimate goal, the final solution for all of our pain and struggle. And because we idealize love, we overestimate it. As a result, our relationships pay a price.
The problem with idealizing love is that it causes us to develop unrealistic expectations about what love actually is and what it can do for us. These unrealistic expectations then sabotage the very relationships we hold dear in the first place.
What we tend to forget is that Relationship is made of people and people are not perfect. No one is perfect. When two people, fundamentally different than each other at many levels, come together; some challenges, some adjustments are inevitable. Disagreements, arguments are bound to happen. It’s not disagreements that destroy relationships, but how you deal with them. It doesn’t mean you never get angry, upset or irritated at each other. It’s about how fast you resolve and bounce back to normal. The question is, do you go into it with a spirit of looking for resolution or do you go into it with a spirit of getting even, vengeance, control? You’ll never win if you do that. It’s not a competition; it’s a partnership. So if your partner loses you lose too.
Each one of us needs that one person we can lean on. Doesn’t matter if the world is against you, what matters if that one person is on your side. And if that person, and that relationship is of such a great importance, shouldn’t we be taking real care of this relationship, shouldn’t we be putting additional efforts on it.
Recognize that all relationships have their ups and downs. Just as you can’t expect to be happy all the time, you shouldn’t expect your relationship to be at a continuous high. When you make a long-term commitment to someone you have to be willing to ride the highs, as well as the lows, together.
It’s not about perfection. It’s about creating the right relationship with right person. It’s not about how much love you have in the beginning but how much love you build till the end.